By Dr. Dan Coflin, River of Life Church
I have a friend who likes to use this phrase. It is interesting to watch people’s responses. Their faces reveal how strange it sounds to them. We have often heard people judging and ridiculing others with the phrase “shame on you” because of something they said or did. Parents chastising their children or neighbors at odds with one another, political opponents may sometimes use this phrase. Kids in school may try to shame another with a dare or a threat to get whatever reaction they desire. But what is shame? Is it guilt? A feeling of regret? “Shame on you” is obviously an attempt to bring pain into someone’s life to make them feel bad or sad or inferior.
One of the best definitions I have heard that explains the difference between guilt and shame is this. Guilt is pain for what you have done but shame is pain for who you are.
We have all done or said things that cause us to feel guilt, regret, or remorse. “If I just hadn’t said it that way” or “I wish I hadn’t done what I did.”
Once we have opened our mouths or done the deed there is no “taking it back,” the damage is done. We can either humble ourselves and apologize or we can take a defensive position to try and justify our actions or words by putting the blame on someone else but on the inside, we know we are wrong. Our words and works are our own and we cannot blame someone else for them. True, our childhood abuses or societal injustices can play a part for how we might react to others, but our committing a wrong is on us. We must own it. We are guilty but we don’t have to live in shame.
Jesus encountered many people who were hurt, broken, wounded, guilty, and full of shame and while he could not undo what they had done, he offered to take the judgment for their wrongs. Jesus accepted the guilt for others and carried the judgment for that wrong all the way to the cross.
The price was paid, forgiveness for every sin was achieved, and when we go to Jesus, He not only forgives us, but He also creates in us someone we have never been before. Someone who has no reason for shame. Oh, we may look the same on the outside and still speak with that Southern twang or Bronx brogue, but we are not who we use to be. We never need to be ashamed for who we are.
Yes, we still are guilty when we say or do the wrong thing, but that is not the person we are. Forgiveness is available to receive every time we humble ourselves before others and look to the LORD who always stands ready to remove our guilt with his blood and who reminds us that is no longer who we are. So, “Shame off you.” If you sin, be quick to admit it and make it right for that is how the new you is, free of shame.